May 7, 2000

Satan’s Beatitudes

 

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Blessed are they who are too tired and busy to attend every service, for they openly demonstrate my power and influence over them.

Blessed are the clock watchers, for they shall never get anything out of worship.

Blessed is the church member who expects to be invited to his own church, for he is part of the problem instead of the solution.

Blessed are they who do not have time to study the Bible at home, for they shall starve their souls to death.

Blessed are they who gossip, for they cause the strife and divisions that please me.

Blessed are they who are easily offended, for they soon get angry and quit.

Blessed are those who do not give generously to carry on God’s work, for they help me promote my agenda.

Blessed is he who professes to love God but hates or holds a grudge against his brother or sister, for he shall be with me forever.

Blessed are the troublemakers, for they shall be called my children.

Blessed is he who has not time to pray, for he shall be easily overcome with temptation.

Adapted from an article by Douglas Parsons

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