How Can I Deal With The Shame Of The Cross? Hebrews 12:1-3

Think of one of the most embarrassing moments in your life.
  1. Shame can have a tremendous impact on us.
    1. It keeps many from doing what they would like to do.
    2. It affects us in a myriad of ways: the way we think, feel, act, live, dress, drive and eat. Our choices: spouse, friends, home/car, use of money/time.
    3. What is shame? "A painful feeling of guilt, incompetence, or indecency" (Webster's).
  2. A part of the pain Jesus suffered on the cross was shame.
    1. By law no Roman citizen could be put to death by crucifixion, no matter the crime. Cicero said, "Let the very mention of the cross be far removed not only from a Roman citizen's body, but from his mind, his eyes, his ears."
    2. The Jews did not crucify criminals; they stoned them to death.
      1. In cases of heinous crimes, the body was hung on a tree and exposed for all to see.
      2. This was a great humiliation, because the individual hanged was considered accursed of God (Deut 21:23); hence the necessity of removing the body out of sight.
      3. Perhaps this is why Paul said of the Jews that the cross a stumbling block to their faith -- 1 Corinthians 1:23
    3. When a man was crucified, he was held up for contempt by all passers by -- Mark 15:29-32
    4. To follow Christ, we must take up our cross daily -- Luke 9:23.
      1. When I take up my cross, I put myself on display to the world.
      2. Thus, a consequence of taking up a cross is the inherent shame that goes with it -- John 15:18-21


    1. It is easy for me to be controlled by shame while in the Lord's service. Examples:
      1. Not acting according to my convictions in a group where others are in the wrong:
        1. Matthew 26:58, 69-75
        2. John 12:42-43
        3. Ephesians 6:20
      2. Not speaking the truth with others:
        1. b/c I fear I may not have all of the answers.
        2. b/c someone may take offense at what is taught:
          1. Galatians 4:16
          2. Romans 1:16
          3. Mark 8:38
        3. b/c the person I'm talking to might decide to sever the relationship.
      3. Not attempting anything new or different, especially where I have not had previous, repeated, successful experiences.
      4. Not singing out during the worship assembly b/c I don't have a "good" voice.
      5. Learning how Jesus addressed shame can help me to endure and keep me from becoming weary/discouraged. It can also help me to understand why others become discouraged after they have been shamed/embarrassed.










  1. How can I learn not to be controlled by this shame?
    1. Learn from and live like Jesus in "shameful" situations.
      1. Ridicule:
        1. Matthew 11:19
        2. Matthew 12:24
        3. John 10:20
      2. Association: Luke 7:36-39
      3. During the "trial" before His crucifixion:
        1. Mark 14:53-65
        2. Matthew 27:11-14
        3. Matthew 27:26-31 (Isaiah 50:4-9)
      4. During the crucifixion -- Mark 15:29-32
      5. Jesus had feelings! Hebrews 4:15
      6. Jesus despised it -- Hebrews 12:2
        1. Despise - "to care nothing for, disregard, be unafraid of"
        2. He was not deterred from doing His Father's will -- John 4:34
    2. Be more concerned about God's approval than man's.
      1. John 6:38
      2. Acts 5:20
      3. Galatians 1:10
    3. Learn to recognize the difference between shame and guilt.
      1. Guilt tells us certain behavior is inappropriate.
      2. Guilt should separate the behavior from the person. Ex: when disciplining children - action bad, child still good.
    4. Trace shame to its roots. Questions can be helpful:
      1. Why do I feel ashamed?
      2. Who have I disappointed?
      3. Whose rules have been violated, those of men or of God?
      4. Sometimes shame clues us to something we need to change.
    5. Handle God's word correctly to overcome shame - 2 Tim 2:15
      1. It's okay to say, "I don't know, but I'll get the answer for you soon." 1 Peter 3:15
      2. If God's Word supports our position, there is no need for shame:
        1. Matthew 3:10; 15:13
        2. Galatians 6:1-2; James 5:19-20
        3. Ephesians 4:15
    6. Have faith in God and His promises:
      1. 2 Timothy 1:8-12; 4:6-8
      2. Hebrews 13:5-6
    7. Become less dominated by material things:
      1. Philippians 3:3-11
      2. Philippians 4:10-13
    8. Learn to separate your worth from the appearance, conduct, & approval of those around you.
      1. I may be controlled by others/shame when:
        1. I am embarrassed and avoid those I think think less of me.
        2. To feel better about myself, I need to be around, or drop names of those I think are better than I.
        3. I feel inferior or worthless in the presence of those with more money, education, power, or prestige than I.
        4. Jesus was not a sinner, but He wasn't ashamed to be seen with or associate with them - Mark 2:15-17
        5. When I have a healthy self-image, I do not need material things or powerful, well known friends to impress others. In fact, I will not even be concerned with such!
    9. Spend more time studying Jesus to learn how He dealt with embarrassing situations and imitate Him
      1. 1 Peter 2:19-23 (cf. Isaiah 53:7-8)
      2. 1 Peter 4:14-16


  2. Conclusion
    1. We will chose to either suffer shame for Jesus as we bear our cross, or we will be ashamed before Him at the Judgment.
    2. How will you face the shame of bearing the cross? Romans 10:11